Full Time, Temporary Help Wanted!

That’s how the ad should read for President. I had lunch with a buddy of mine this past weekend. Dale, (his real name) is a very sharp guy; and just to prove it, he’s a commercial pilot. Anyway, we were chatting over a phenomenal steak sub up at Big Al’s in Palm Beach Gardens in Florida and we started talking about politics. We’d already discussed religion and women, so we figured, why not? It’s not as scary as it sounds since he and I are about on the same page on all three and I dare say, most other topics. During the discussion of this candidate and that issue, Dale hit on a really great idea, which while probably not new, I’ve never heard it put the way he did.

His idea is simple really. We’ve all heard the concerns about the current president’s credentials, or lack thereof, so Dale proffered the following suggestion. Why don’t we treat this very important job just like we would in the private sector and have each candidate start by completing a job application? You know, the same type that you or I, or anyone must fill out before being considered for a job, regardless of whether they provide a resume or not.

Owing to the gravity of the position, that application would include all the normal stuff such as name, place and date of birth, Social Security Number, (including the date and place of issue) marital status, previous employment, education, etc. However, it would also include much more enhanced information such as references from every stage and venue of life, educational records from as far back as Kindergarten, names of classmates, teachers, members of wedding parties, former landlords and neighbors, current and former friends, employers, and a comprehensive list of all relatives out to three times removed. While no one expects any candidate to be without blemish, some items hold more weight than others, but essentially, we need to know everything.

The biggest catch would be that all candidates understand that they need to first and foremost pass strict Constitutional muster; that is to say that each candidate must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have attained the age of 35 by election day, be a natural born citizen of the United States, and resided within the country for the past 14 years. If those three very basic items are not first verifiably and publicly satisfied, the rest would be deemed moot and the candidacy would be nullified, and they could face criminal charges for attempting to intentionally usurp the system and the nation. Additionally, the application must be as accurate as humanly possible, and that each application is to be fully scrutinized and verified by the Secret Service, FBI, CIA, or even better, Sheriff Joe Arpaio from Maricopa County in AZ. If any, let alone all, of these agencies deems, (and shows cause publicly) that the candidate could not be cleared to work so much as a menial job in the maintenance department of the White House, he or she would also not be allowed to serve in the Oval Office.

The rest of the election process, flawed as it might be and while corrections such as voter and polling integrity are constantly made, could continue as is. That is to say, it doesn’t really matter if the candidate is a democrat, a republican, an independent, or anything else. As long as he or she passes the documentation and background litmus test, the rest would amount to his or her winning over the hearts and minds of the masses through their oratory and marketing skills. And of course, very sadly, how much money he or she can amass. At very least, while we may not all be 100% behind the leader of the free world, we could rest assured that the process had a fair chance at working.

David DiCrescenzo

Publisher/Editor in Chief

The Patriots Press